The ACT Workbook for Depression and Shame by Matthew McKay

Author:Matthew McKay
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2020-06-27T02:19:35+00:00

As new situations occur, keep updating your Triggers and Intentions Worksheet. This process is important for your recovery from depression, because it helps you do the opposite of the old avoidance and defectiveness coping strategies. Every time you notice a shame or defectiveness avoidance behavior, think it through: What is your value in this situation? How could you act on the value next time?

Commitment and Willingness

Pivoting away from old coping behaviors, away from depression and toward your values, will require commitment. A commitment, to be real and to last, is the intention to do something (your values-based action) with full willingness to experience and face whatever barriers show up. In other words, a commitment means you are willing to have worry thoughts or self-judging thoughts, and to feel shame and fear, in whatever form or intensity, and still act on your values.

As you plan and act on your values-based intentions, think about your willingness. Are you willing to face whatever barriers show up, whatever shame or painful thoughts, and act on your intention anyway? Try to choose intentions where you are 100 percent willing to feel and face whatever happens.

There is no such thing as a little willingness or partial willingness. It’s not true willingness to say, “I’ll do X as long as my shame doesn’t go above 5 on a 10-point scale.” Or, in Rebekah’s case, “I’m willing to perform at open mic as long as I don’t get too embarrassed.” Willingness is always 100 percent. It requires us to accept all of the emotion and every painful thought in the service of doing the things that matter to us.

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